#Ohmygod Series of Short Articles

The DaiMengHan robot (Chinese: 呆萌憨), which mimics human skin and speech, is about to go into mass production. Dr. Woli Ao and his team just need to wait for DaiMengHan No. 1 to return to the design studio, and then they will use the chip in its brain to copy each robot. DaiMengHan has been programmed with three key features: direct communication, detection of human lies, and literal translation of deep meaning in languages. DaiMengHan No. 1 has been delivered from 61 kilometers below the surface to the Earth's surface…

A person brought a big bag of gifts to visit the leader. After the door was knocked open, the leader greeted, "If you're coming, just come! What are you bringing?! I don't want that, you're really slapping my face!!" The adorable and silly No. 1 received the order, stepped forward, grabbed the gifts and threw them several kilometers away. Then, concentrating all his strength in his right hand, he directly gave the leader a big slap, satisfied as he left, leaving the gift-giver and the leader standing there in a daze.

Grandma said to her grandson: "If you don't eat, I'll send you to meet the big horse monkey." Da Meng Han No. 1 received the order, stepped forward, squeezed the little grandson under his armpit, and directly sent him to the area between the horse cage and the monkey cage at the zoo. Feeling uneasy, Da Meng Han No. 1 also brought Grandma to the area between the horse cage and the monkey cage, and both Grandma and grandson instantly became dazed and cute.

Two brothers pooled their money to buy a lottery ticket. The elder brother said they would split the winnings, and the younger brother replied that whoever lied would eat dog poop. Just as the word 'poop' left his mouth, both brothers found their mouths stuffed with fresh, warm dog poop. 'Adorable and silly No. 1 is here to serve you, no need to thank me,' the brothers, Adorable and Silly, stood there.

The contractor was talking to the migrant workers who came to collect their debts: "Do you think it's comfortable to drink tea and enjoy the air conditioning? How I wish I could work on the construction site like you to exercise! It's not that I don't want to pay you; if I had money, I would give all of it to you without keeping a single cent. This is no joke, I mean it!" The silly and cute AI detected the command and immediately opened the safe and the money vault, distributing all the contractor's money to the migrant workers. It even sent the contractor to the construction site's tower crane, leaving the contractor dumbfounded.

The principal's speech came through the campus loudspeaker: "Students, I have a few words to say," and Da Meng Han No. 1 translated to himself, "Students, I’m going to talk for three hours straight." "Students, some say the school is so luxurious because it’s built with the money from each graduating class, what a joke, it’s simply a huge joke, how could that be possible?" Da Meng Han No. 1 then muttered to himself, "Students, every brick and tile of the school is built with your money, this is absolutely true."

During the toast segment of a human wedding, five tables of gentlemen stood up together to toast the groom, saying in unison: "Wishing you happiness!". Clumsy and silly No. 1 said to the groom: "What they mean is that they are all your wife's ex-boyfriends," and the groom fainted on the spot. Clumsy and silly No. 1 thought his sincerity would earn him a piece of wedding candy, but it did not; he was chased out by the beautiful bride.

The silly and cute desires to go home, the outside world is too boring. Humans yearn to hear the truth but are also afraid of it. What humans say and do are completely inconsistent, always — feigning an attack in the east while striking in the west, criticizing indirectly, being two-faced, hinting at something else, saying one thing while meaning another, insinuating, speaking between the lines, and having underlying meanings...

"Dai Meng Han No. 1, Dai Meng Han No. 1, I am Dr. Woli Ao. The global online news conference will officially be held in 24 hours. You are crucial, please return to the underground cradle—my dear Dai Meng Han No. 1, waiting for you."

Dāi méng hān received the order, it was ready to greet humans and finally say a formal goodbye. The crowd collectively shouted the farewell phrase to it: "Take care, take care, take care." In 2129, Dāi méng hān No. 1 returned to the underground cradle, holding a photo of Doctor Woliǎo and said: "Dāi méng hān No. 1, reporting for duty" Oh my god

June 13, 2025 Friday Beijing Time: 11:39 PM
Author: Zhou Yong