When a person's mental state is relatively weak and their internal energy is insufficient, their external appearance often is not gentle, but more likely to become guarded and firm in attitude.

This appearance, in fact, more often comes from a person having ample inner resources and a sense of security, and is a natural expression.
In other words, truly relaxed softness and coquettishness are not necessarily learned deliberately, but are more like a natural reaction after psychological fullness.
Conversely, if a person is often under long-term pressure or in a state of scarcity, they tend to establish defensive mechanisms to protect themselves, because there is no longer extra psychological space to open outward.
In this case, the apparent “hard” and “cold” are often not personality issues, but a self-protection method formed after past injuries, and this state is also not easy to change in a short time.