臺灣網紅 77 老大 這段關於單身的獨白，以及他給單身女性的一些建議，本身是有道理的。

但貓哥想說一句：
貓哥有一些不一樣的看法，也有一個更深一層的解讀。

因爲說實話，這個視頻——講得還不夠深。

先說一句可能不太好聽的話：
有些人，真的不配擁有一段親密關係。

爲什麼這麼說？
別急，貓哥慢慢跟你們講。

無論你是單身，還是正在一段關係中；
無論你是男生，還是女生——

有件事是必須做的：
你得先把“一個人的生活”過好。

你要能一個人生活得很好，

一個人也能感到幸福，

能照顧好自己——
不只是生活層面，更是情緒和內在層面的自洽。

只有這樣的人，
才更適合、也更有概率，
遇到一個真正能讓你幸福的另一半。

反過來說，
如果你自己還不成熟，
很需要別人來照顧你、填補你；
如果你找另一半，只是因爲你害怕孤獨——

那貓哥直說：
你並不適合談戀愛，
也幾乎不可能找到一個真正適合你的伴侶。

貓哥說這個，不是理論，是親身經歷。
我曾經有一位前女友，
她非常害怕孤獨，
所以希望我每天忙完，都必須去陪她。

當然，一開始在甜蜜期的時候，一切都很好。
（說實話，所有戀愛在甜蜜期都是美好的。）
但甜蜜期一過，問題就開始出現了：
爭執、吵架、拉扯，一次比一次多。

最後，我們還是分手了。
不是不愛了，

而是關係裏的愛，被一點點消耗幹淨了。

爲什麼會這樣？

核心原因只有一個：

不成熟的人，是沒有邊界感的。

在關係裏，你永遠是“索取”的那一方，
而不是“給予”的那一方。

短期來看，這確實沒問題：

有新鮮感，也會讓人覺得可愛。

但你要明白——

你的“需要”，本質上是在要求對方爲你改變。

而感情裏，

最大的殺手，就是試圖把對方改造成你想要的樣子。

最終不管結果如何，結局都不會好。

如果對方真的因爲你改變了，

你會覺得無聊、厭煩，

最後還是會分手。

如果對方沒有改變，

而你還在不斷要求、拉扯，

那你們就會持續內耗，

結局同樣是分手。

所以貓哥想說一句很重要的話：

一個人，無論男女，

如果你想擁有一段好的戀愛、一段健康的關係，

請先學會獨處，先學會愛自己。因爲你能足夠愛自己，你才有多餘的愛去分給別人

你要能獨立生活，

而且把生活過得很好。

只有這樣的人，才真正適合去談戀愛。去擁有一段關係

真正好的戀愛，是會滋養你的。

簡單點說就是：

兩個人在一起，

會讓你覺得生活更有希望，

日子更明亮、更穩、更踏實。

而不是每天在家裏病態地爭吵，

相愛相殺，那種病態的依戀，終有一天因爲一個人無法忍受而結束

且會把本來就不容易的生活，

搞得雞飛狗跳、一地雞毛。

The Taiwanese influencer 77 Lao Da’s monologue about being single, as well as his advice to single women, does make sense.

But I want to say this:
I have a different perspective—and a deeper interpretation.

To be honest, that video doesn’t go deep enough.
Let me say something that might not sound very pleasant at first:

Some people are simply not ready—or qualified—to be in an intimate relationship.

Why do I say that?
Don’t worry, let me explain slowly.

Whether you are single or already in a relationship,
whether you are a man or a woman—
There is one thing you must do first:

You have to learn how to live your life well on your own.
You should be able to live well alone,
feel happy on your own,

and take good care of yourself—

Not only in daily life,

but also emotionally and internally, with real self-alignment and stability.

Only people like this
are truly more likely
to meet a partner who can bring them genuine happiness.
On the other hand,

if you are still emotionally immature,
if you constantly need someone else to take care of you or fill your emptiness;

if you look for a partner simply because you are afraid of being alone—

Then I’ll be very direct:

You are not suitable for a relationship,
and it will be extremely difficult for you to find a truly compatible partner.

This isn’t theory—it’s personal experience.
I once had an ex-girlfriend

who was deeply afraid of being alone.
She expected me to be with her every day after I finished work.

Of course, at the beginning—during the honeymoon phase—everything felt great.

To be honest, every relationship feels good during the honeymoon phase.

But once that phase passed, problems started to surface:

arguments, conflicts, emotional tug-of-war—again and again.
In the end, we broke up.

Not because we didn’t love each other anymore,
but because the love in the relationship
had been slowly worn away.

Why did this happen?
There is only one core reason:
Immature people lack boundaries.

In a relationship,
they are always the one who “asks” or “takes,”
rather than the one who gives.

In the short term, this doesn’t seem like a big problem.
There’s novelty, and it can even feel cute.
But you need to understand this:

Your “needs” are, in essence,
demands for the other person to change for you.
And in relationships,

the biggest killer is trying to reshape someone into the person you want them to be.

No matter how it turns out,
the ending is rarely a good one.

If your partner actually changes to meet your expectations,

you’ll eventually feel bored, dissatisfied, and leave.
If they don’t change,

and you keep pushing, demanding, and pulling,
both of you will fall into constant emotional exhaustion—

And the relationship will still end.

So here is the most important thing I want to say:

No matter your gender,

if you want a healthy, fulfilling relationship,
you must first learn how to be alone and how to love yourself.

Because only when you truly love yourself
will you have surplus love to give to someone else.
You must be able to live independently
and live well.

Only then are you truly ready
to enter a relationship.

A genuinely good relationship should nourish you.

Simply put:

Being together should make life feel more hopeful,
brighter, steadier, and more grounded.

Not a life filled with constant, unhealthy arguments at home;

not a toxic, love–hate dynamic,
or a pathological form of attachment

that will eventually end because one person can no longer endure it.

Otherwise, you end up turning an already difficult life
into complete chaos.